Last week I was scrolling through photos from 2018-2023, particularly selfies that I had taken, when I realized that there was something missing.
That girl? That version of me?
She was exuding youthfulness. A zest for life. There was something about her energy, the way it was captured on film, that just made you want to get to know her.
And that’s when it clicked.
That twinkle in her eye, glow in her skin, vibrance in her smile? I hadn’t seen it for a really long time- and believe me, I had been looking for it.
As it turns out, my sparkle was missing… and honestly, I think it’s been missing for years. I just didn’t realize it until now.
I’ve lost my way.
For the last few years I’ve been in recovery-mode after losing almost everything in my life. I thought I was managing well, moving forward, seeing change- and in a lot of ways, I suppose you could say that I have been.
Life’s been good to me. Despite going through a bankruptcy and losing everything financially years ago- I’ve been able to still enjoy life. Travel. Get surgery. Work for myself. All my basic needs are covered and then some.
Heck, I’ve even experienced some luxury along the way too, through unexpected blessings the universe has sent my way.
BUT, regardless of all that, I’ve been struggling.
Holding onto anger, grief, frustration, fear. Refusing to forgive myself or allow myself to move on from certain things that happened. Replaying scenarios in my mind and quietly dimming my light before anyone else has a chance to.
And even if I’ve come leaps and bounds from where I was years ago in terms of self-prioritization, boundaries, choosing me, and using my voice- the truth is that I’m still holding myself back, refusing to lean into my full power.
And THAT has had tremendous consequences on my life.
The life impact of settling.
There are times in life when we try to convince ourselves that it’s okay to settle. That we can (or should) take what we can get, without allowing ourselves to shoot any higher.
And the truth is that every time we settle, we’re actively deciding in that moment that we’re not worthy of anything else.
Which, pardon my french, is complete bullsh*t.
I’ve lost my sparkle over the last few years because I’ve settled. Because I have allowed what happened to me, what I did, what I went through, to be the ceiling.
Because I have decided that for the rest of my life, I am worthy of nothing more than this experience- and as a result, my ego has continued to prove that to me.
I’ve shrunk myself. Quieted myself. Stopped doing or engaging in things I care deeply about- like working out or taking care of myself!
I’ve gained weight. My hormones are out of whack. I’m wearing the same stretched, old, torn clothes that I’ve had for years. I’ve stopped caring about how I look or how I fuel my body. I stopped engaging in activities or habits that I love- the things that feel good to me.
I’ve even been procrastinating the things that hold the most importance to me; the things I want to do, grow, create, share with this world- I’ve put them all on a backburner, claiming that ‘one day’ I’ll return to them.
But you and I both know that one day will never come unless we decide that day is today. So today? I’m finally deciding it’s the day.
Fed up enough to change.
We all have a rock bottom, or a metaphorical place we reach when finally decide that we’ve had enough. Where we decide that enough is enough- we’re tired of our own excuses and it’s time to do something about it.
I’m there, right now. Fed up enough to do something about it.
I’m tired of my body feeling heavy and ill. I’m tired of my clothes not fitting, my skin breaking out, my guts being all over the place.
I’m tired of not sleeping, of tossing-and-turning because I can’t shut my mind off, of waking up with a sense of dread and apprehension for the day ahead.
I’m tired of the number on the scale going up, of having headaches, and body aches and pains, because I’m carrying too much weight on my frame.
But most importantly? I’m tired of believing that this is the best it’s going to be and that this is all there is out there for me.
I know better. I deserve better. And I’m going to do better- no matter what it takes.
30 ways I’m getting my sparkle back.
I’ve officially declared September the month of me. The month where I prioritize myself for real and not just say I will. The month where I take action, show up, and get good at having consistency in my habits again.
Originally this started as a couple of ‘30 day challenges’ I decided to do for the month, which of course I’m sharing below too. But over the last few days this has morphed into me deciding that I want to make every day special this month- because, why not?!
I’m turning 34 at the end of October and I want to enter the next birthday year feeling healthy and fabulous, so I’m committed to taking the action steps required this month to get there.
Thus, if you’re like me, feeling a little lost, dull and dimmed- consider reigniting your fire and working to get your sparkle back this month as well. I’d love to have you join me on this adventure as we work to make September our best month yet.
So, here we go:
Sober September- Drinking alcohol is not really a huge part of my life, and socially, I drink probably only a couple times per month. But lately I’ve noticed myself feeling really terrible with even one drink including migraines and feeling more anxious/depressed afterwards. I’m cutting out alcohol fully for the month to see how I feel, and I even have a couple of friends and family doing this with me as well.
Yoga Challenge- I used to love yoga. In University I’d go to classes all the time and practice at home daily. But over the years I’ve lost this habit. I still stretch, but not with the same intention, practice or length. So, this month, I’m committing to a 30 day yoga challenge by one of my favourite online yoga teachers, Yoga by Adriene. You can check the challenge I’m doing HERE if you want to join me. It’s an old one, but so so good!
Pulling Cards Daily- I’ve fallen in love with more spiritual practices over the years, and oracle cards happen to be one of my favourite things. Sometimes I’ll go weeks or months without pulling a card, but every time I do, I wonder why it’s not something that I do more often. My favourite deck is this Feminine Wisdom one, and I am going to try and pull at least one card daily!
Lighting A Candle- I used to make everything in my life a ritual, and work was no exception. Since balancing two creative ‘businesses’ at once (a podcast and writing here on Substack), I’ve noticed that my work day is chaotic. I’m going to bring back the ritual energy to my work by lighting a candle at the start of my day, and blowing it out once my day is completed.
Finding Stillness- There is something truly magical that happens when we slow down and find quiet amongst the noise in our lives… and that’s something that I want more of! I’m going to make an effort to pause more often, whether that’s first thing in the morning or throughout my day, and just see what comes up.
Journal It Out- Okay, so technically this might be cheating but I’m gonna put it here anyways. This habit is actually one I picked back up at the beginning of August, and I have to say, it’s made a WORLD of a difference for the last month- so I’m going to keep it up for September. I love me a good journal, and this daily self-care one has space for both morning and evening reflection, amongst a lot of other tracking pages. Highly recommend!
10,000 Daily Steps- I realized that a big part of my weight going up and my body hurting could be because I am generally confined to my desk for 8+ hours a day doing what I love. And while I get up often to stretch my legs, grab a drink of water or go to the bathroom, I know that I am most certainly NOT getting a lot of steps in. I’ve committed myself to hitting 10,000 steps per day- and I’ve even bought a smart ring tracker to wear to make sure that I am hitting my goal.
Sex and The City- Growing up, and even throughout my early adulthood, I never watched a lot of tv. So call me crazy when I only recently realized that SATC is actual tv series and not just a movie (#embarrasing). Thus, I’ve decided that I’m going to watch the whole thing and allow myself to bask in the energy of Carrie Bradshaw- hopefully gaining some inspiration for my writing along the way. Best part? I’m putting this on the tv WHILE I hop on my treadmill and get my steps in each day. Can you say win-win?!
Dancing- Let’s be honest… somatics (moving my body with intention) used to be a really big part of my life. And lately? It’s been sporadic to say the least. The other day I put on one of my favourite songs and just danced like crazy- and it shifted my WHOLE entire day. I plan to put on music and do this regularly this month, and I may or may not be using this song that I’m obsessed with.
Sunshine Mornings- There’s just something about starting the day with the sunrise and the sun shining down on your face. I already do this most days, but I want to act like a plant this September and be constantly seeking out the sun (lol).
Get Off My Phone- I’ve been working on this habit (or rather, breaking this habit) for a long time, but it’s still a priority for me. I use an app called Brick to lock me out of my social media for 21 hours a day, which works wonders. My goal is to only use my phone between 830-930 am and 4-5 pm for work related posts/responses- and then for it to be treated kind of like a landline, calls or texts only.
Confidence- Lately I’ve been paying attention to the energy I hold when I walk into a room/space. My goal for September is to treat every room I enter as my personal power source. I’ll be standing tall, head held high, shoulders back- confidently walking into it and taking up space.
Telling People What I Do- This sounds so simple but it’s actually a huge thing for me. I’ve noticed in the last year I’m not telling people what it is that I do. I don’t know if this is just because of the sparkle or because ‘nursing’ was on a pedestal for so long- but my goal for this month is to tell one new person every single day what it is that I do, and have fun sharing my work!
Date My Husband- In December we will be celebrating 10 years, and I’m proud to say that I am married to my best friend. But despite falling more in love with each other every year that passes… we’ve also allowed the stress we’re feeling in our lives to impact how we show up. I miss the spontaneity we used to have, and this month I’m going to work to bring that back. Date nights, connecting in the evenings, kissing for no reason- anything that deepens our love.
Buy Myself New Clothes- As noted above, I’ve been wearing the same clothes for years, hardly purchasing myself anything new. So this month, I’m going to replace the majority of my wardrobe. Everything that is stretched, torn, stained, too big or too small, or just plain old, is getting tossed or donated if appropriate.
Reading PD Books- I went through a phase over the last few years where I didn’t want to read a single personal development book. Probably because I settled and gave up on myself and my growth. But now I’m craving learning again- and getting curious again! I’ll be grabbing a few kindle/audio options, and I’d love to know any suggestions you might have!
Trying A New Hobby- There are a few things that I’ve been saying for years that I want to ‘try’. And while right now might not be the appropriate time to pick most of those up (due to time constraints), one thing I do want to do this month is a pottery class with my hubby! This will double as a date night, but is something I’m super excited about. Getting creative with your hands is the best!
Cutting Out Sugar- I know that sugar and I have a love/hate relationship, and lately there’s just been a ‘little’ too much celebrating happening. I’ll be focusing on cleaning up my diet and saving those splurges for the occasional date, rather than making it a daily occurrence.
Balancing My Hormones- On that note, this is a particular priority for me. I’ve known for months that my hormones were out of whack, but I didn’t do anything to try and help them. So this month, that changes! I’ve started incorporating a wild yam cream into my beauty routine (for face and belly), and I’ve just started to take the Happy Mammoth Hormone Harmony- which I hope I’ll see some success with using!
Reading My Affirmations- Posted on the window right in front of my desk are 12 sticky notes with positive statements that I want to reinforce in my mind and use as reminders for my energy every day. Since I put them up last month, I’ve been finding myself noticing them frequently, and it’s been influencing me in such a good way. Therefore, I plan to pay attention to these a little more on purpose this month.
Connect With Friends- The last few months of summer were busy, and a couple of the plans that were made with my girlfriends fell through. So now that we’re moving into fall, I plan to connect with them more often and hopefully make plans to get together soon.
Take Myself On Dates- I love a solo day with no plans where I can grab a latte, cruise sections of our local thrift store, or take myself shopping for new clothes. This month I will planning a day to do just that- as well as a separate day for me to go to a sound bowl & cacao ceremony by myself.
Make Mocktails- As I shared above, I am planning to take part in Sober September, and a while ago I found some cool non-alcoholic wines and other beverages that I’d love to try. I plan to grab a couple different options and play around with making some fancy mocktails this month- perfect for those bubble bath days!
Get Myself Done Up- In an effort to take care of myself and romanticize life a little more, I’m gonna spend September putting special care and attention into my appearance. Even on the days that I’m in a pair of pjs, I plan to do my hair and throw on some mascara- but most days? I’ll be getting full glam. Makeup, hair, and getting dressed up, just as if I was headed into an office for the day- because working from home can be special too!
Networking- I’m in a space of my life and business where I am craving more connections with women who do what I do, and who ‘get’ this world. I want more writer friends, and I plan to spend this month reaching out to others to connect, collaborate, and build each other up. There is more than enough room out there for all of us!
Be Delulu As Hell- This is the month where I rewrite old beliefs, believe in my worth, and break through the dam glass ceiling I created. As a result, I plan to spend this month being so delulu about my life and where I’m headed, that it makes people sick. I’ve got a huge event for my podcast this month that I believe will sell out, and I’m going to get fully behind this belief and others, so that this month is even more wild than my imagination.
Actually Write Things- You may have noticed that things are in the process of changing around here (moving from the 30 something bible to love, sunday). I’ve been craving this change for a while, and I’ve been procrastinating my writing because of it. Which means, now that the announcement is out and the change is in motion- I’m out of excuses (lol). I’ll be figuratively kicking my own booty in gear to show up every single day and prioritize my writing. I’ve carved out time on my calendar, and there will be plenty of dates with me and my keyboard over the next 30 days.
Forgive Myself- I shared above how a big reason I’ve lost my sparkle is by not forgiving myself or moving on from the hardships in the last few years, and truthfully, it would be impossible to change unless I made this a priority too. I’ll be using some ho’ponopono practices, earth pulsing meditations and scripted writing to myself (and my inner child) to help release this weight I am carrying (both energetically and literally).
Visit My Grandparents- Typically I go out to visit them every two weeks, spending a day to help them with whatever tasks they need and catching up over tea. However, this summer I’ve noticed the time between those visits increasing, and my presence when I’m there be fleeting. I want to make the time I spend with them be more memorable and often- and this month I’ll be making an effort to get out there 3-4x times instead.
Believe In My Capacity- This one ended up last, but it most certainly isn’t least. It actually might be the most important thing, because I believe that this alone has been a huge factor in my ‘laziness’ over the last few months. After the crash of my last business, I convinced myself that I didn’t have the capacity to do more than one thing at a time. As a result, I’ve believed that wherever I focus my energy, something else must suffer- and this is a prime example of how every area of my life feels like it’s failing right now. Moving forward for this month I am going to remind myself that I am capable of having everything I want at the same time, that I do not have to choose, and that I do have time. Because everything is working out for me, AND I get everything I want.
So there you have it my friends- the exact 30 ways I am getting my sparkle back this month, and everything that I am focusing on to bring more ‘me’ into my life.
While this might seem like a lot, remember that a lot of these are things that happen once or a handful of times, and do not require daily action. There are also a lot of things on this list that are already habits or are things that I am doing anyways, just now I am focusing on them more consciously or with a different intention in mind.
My goal is to leave this month feeling the healthiest and happiest I have been in a while- and I know that the only thing standing in the way of my goals is me.
This list will be my reference point as I move through the next 30 days of this month- and I hope that it encourages you to take action and get your own sparkle back.
I’d love to know what inspired you from the list above, and if there is anything that you are personally focusing on for the month of September. Connect with me below in the comments and let me know- I’d love to support each other as we glow together!
Wishing you a fabulous month ahead 🫶🏽
Happy sparkle season,
Love, Brianne xx
P.S. If something I shared today made you think, smile, or feel something deep inside- you can now buy me a tea to help fuel even more early morning creative sessions 💌
About the Author:
Hey there! I’m Brianne, the messy human behind love, sunday. I’m a full-time writer, speaker, and host of the Go Regulate Yourself podcast. Born and raised a small-town Alberta girl, I now spend six months a year travelling the globe in search of a slower, softer way of living.
Here, I write about romanticizing each day, how to become the main character of your life, what living out of a suitcase is teaching me, and all the ways to create a life more magical and delicious than your wildest dreams.
I’m so honoured to have you here in my little corner of the internet- and I hope that my journey inspires you to demand more for your life. Thanks for being here!
💬 Feel free to like or comment on this newsletter so more Substack users can find it!
Thank you for sharing your list! As you're saying, so many of these are tiny stackable habits that can make a world of difference. You reminded me that I want to get in the habit of pulling a daily card and continue working on my phone time. I've read a lot of PD books in the past year and am compiling a list of my faves, so stay tuned for that :) sending you lots of sparkly well-wishes, you got this!