Does manifestation exist, or is it all BS? [Part Three]
A detailed look inside how I went from losing everything to living a life of my wildest dreams... with proof that you really can have it all.
*Disclaimer: this post was written but not released 7 weeks ago as it didn’t feel quite ‘right’. I’ve sat with this post and after making a few small updates, have decided to release it now despite no longer being in Bali. The viewpoints still stand as my life at ‘home’ for the summer reflect the exact same energy. Discretion is advised 😉
If you haven’t read Part One or Part Two yet, check that out first!
The sun is peaking through the overcast sky as a dove coos outside the big, floor-to-ceiling windows in front of me. The rain has just passed, and I’m currently propped up on a chair in my ‘office’- aka the second bedroom in our spacious two bedroom villa here in Bali.
Today, like most days lately, was slow and delicious.
I awoke naturally with the sunrise just after 6 am, quietly tiptoeing from the bedroom as my husband continued to rest. A pot of steaming hot green tea was calling my name as I slowly moved through my morning routine:
-A full body dry-brushing session
-A delightfully cool shower
-A quick but intentional stretch
Eventually I settled in the lounger outside, tea in hand, listening to the birds and watching the sun peak over the trees. This is precisely where I spend the first two hours of each day- pondering, daydreaming, journaling and reading.
In this space, there’s no rush, no alarms, no schedule and no deadlines. All that exists is just me and as much time as I want to be present with myself, and my thoughts.
When my desire for deeper creative work takes hold, I move here, to the ‘office’, where I flow through whatever is calling my name- recording a podcast episode, answering emails or messages, building my platforms, or just simply writing… like I am doing right now.
I’ll work for a few hours until my husband prepares our brunch- then I’ll stop to eat slowly and connect more deeply with him. We love to spend our afternoons suntanning in our courtyard, taking a dip in our private pool, or playing a few rounds of crib.
By this time it’s usually mid-afternoon and the clouds begin to roll in (because it’s rainy season after all). So I’ll run myself a bubble bath and soak in the water by candlelight, enjoying a cup of ceremonial cacao as I watch and listen to the rain come down.
Finally, the storm begins to pass and I find myself inspired to do some more work. I’ll head back to my computer for a couple of hours before disconnecting to enjoy dinner and time with my husband once more.
Does this sound too good to be true? Maybe. But the truth is that it’s not.
This is an actual representation of my life right now*. A life where I’ve ultimately ‘hacked’ the concept of time and I am experiencing a level of freedom that I haven’t felt ever before in my life.
THIS is the version of life that I used to dream about.
The real definition of what it means to be ‘successful’ and ‘rich’- and it actually isn’t about how many dollar bills are in the bank or how many subscribers I have coming through the door. It’s not about driving a fancy car, carrying a brand name bag or having a massive company that makes a ‘splash’. It’s not actually about any of that.
No. For me… being rich and successful means living a life filled with slow, soft mornings- and intentional, fully aligned work. Days where there is no pressure, no force. Where there is no schedule, no timelines, and no must ‘dos’. Just days where I follow my gut, I do what lights me up, and I seek pleasure in every single step that I take.
Because the truth is that THIS is what true richness looks like.
Ultimate time freedom. The ability to do what you want, when you want, where you want. To say yes to a unplanned massage on a Monday morning or to randomly stopping work on a Wednesday to go play in the water… just because you feel like it.
It’s about being able to say yes to the things you want to do- while also saying no to the things that you do not. It’s about the option to CHOOSE. To choose to feel good. To be present. To have fun. To experience pleasure. To be happy.
And honestly? I’d be doing a disservice to you if I told you that you have to wait to feel this way- because the truth is that it is available to you right now.
We’ve been travelling for almost three months- three months of not working a traditional job, with no guarantees or systems in place to make us money. We are not living off of investments or interest, we do not have a business that fuels us (yet!), and we do not have a massive savings account or millions in the bank (though I am certainly welcoming this in).
In fact… I was officially discharged from my bankruptcy less than three weeks ago.
But yet somehow, money keeps finding me. Dollars continue to appear in my bank account, and things continue to work out for me- even though logically, on paper, it makes absolute zero sense.
So by now you must be wondering, how is this actually happening?
Well, let’s talk about it.
The Blessings
I want to take this moment to share with you the specific blessings that are finding me and the things that are falling into place right now, so that you can see exactly what I’m talking about.
Here it goes…
As noted, I am celebrating the end of my bankruptcy, having officially been discharged three weeks ago with all of my past debts and mistakes having been cleared. This in itself is such a relief- but do you want to know the real, incredible, holy-shit kicker? The last day of my bankruptcy (aka the closure) fell on April 9th… the date of my mother’s birthday. Out of all the days that it could have ended up on, this is the one that it ‘just so happen’ to be? No. I don’t believe in coincidences! Talk about a major sign from the Universe about the closure of my mother wound and money wound all in one.
My subscribers for Substack have wildly and rapidly grown in a very short window of the last month. I only started my page/writing at the beginning of this year, and somehow I’ve skyrocketed in growth and connections- which is absolutely unbelievable.
[EDITED TO ADD] I got my first paid subscribers for BOTH my writing Substack and my podcast Substack since returning home- which means that I am officially a PAID WRITER and a PAID PODCASTER! {insert girlish-screech here!}
My social media growth has been popping off the charts. At the beginning of this year, my Instagram for the podcast was sitting at just 70 subscribers, and my Facebook for the podcast was sitting at just 35 subscribers. Those numbers have now grown beyond 1000 and beyond 3000 in just a few short months!
I was invited onto a podcast with an extremely well-known coach (Lauren of Love) to share about my explant journey (a blog post to come on this soon) AND she asked to come on my podcast as well which was huge exposure for me!
My podcast has been popping off the charts for downloads, reach, connections and more. I even have myself positioned in front of potential sponsors and advertisers now, for brands I am giddy about!
The passive sale of items from a side hustle continues to bring in money while we are away, resulting in money showing up in my bank account while we are here travelling- and I barely have to do a single thing for it. I’m not promoting or managing this, it’s set up in a way that I just continue to have unexpected sales show up each and every day.
[EDITED TO ADD] Upon returning home, despite being fresh out of a bankruptcy, we ended up being in the best financial position that we have been in years. Not only did we return to a vehicle (there’s been years when we didn’t have one at all), a place lined up to stay (the same condo we stayed at last fall/winter was available still), a full bank account (usually we come home dry financially from a trip- this time we had over $10,000 left over), money for our damage deposit/rent, unexpected debts being paid off- and even a job for my husband to return to instantly.
These things are just a small ‘snippet’ of what has been happening in my life and the blessings that continue to show up, despite me not working a job or following any set schedule for my creative business.
It doesn’t make sense. There is zero logic to it. And yet, the more I surrender, the more I let go, the more I follow my heart’s desire… the more that blessings like these continue to show up.
Energetic State + Aligned Action
Okay, let me be a little honest…
I think one of the things that frustrated me the most when I was learning about manifestation and law of attraction, was seeing every guru under the sun claim it was ‘easy’. As if you just had to shift your energy one time- and then suddenly it’d all fall into place without any effort. Can you feel me rolling my eyes?
Here’s the thing though… change does not happen without effort. Manifestation does not happen without action. And if you want to achieve something great in your life- you have to be willing to take the steps to get there.
One of the ‘guides’ I really appreciated for helping me to understand this deeper and better, was Abraham Hicks.
There was a period of six months where I listed to one of her videos every single day at breakfast- some on repeat. I’d hear her talk about ‘getting into the vortex’, and for a while… it really frustrated me because I just couldn’t understand what it meant.
But eventually it did click- and what I realized was how much control I actually did have over what I was feeling, what I was focusing my energy on, and the action steps that I was actually taking in my life. Cue, the change.
Remember how at the end of part two I shared how I realized that the way I was operating and what I was building wasn’t working, and that the problem was actually me? Well, that’s what this discovery led me to.
Understanding that if I truly wanted to change my life- if I truly wanted all the things I said I did- then I needed to prove it with how I was actually living my life.
Shifting from the state I was in (catastrophic company failure, losing everything, bankruptcy, depressed, sick, and stressed) to where I am now didn’t happen overnight.
In fact, you might not want to hear this, but it took two years of conscious, continuous energetic action- and choosing to show up every single day working on myself and my goals.
And that process? The action I took? Not only was it all worth it… I’d choose to do it over and over again if I had to, because the truth is that I’ve finally cracked the code on how to actually manifest the life of your dreams (and yes, I’m going to share with you below the exact steps that I actually took during this time).
The Steps
When we think of action steps, most of us immediately go to the things that we can add on- what can I do different? What box can I check that I wasn’t checking before? What task can I complete that I’ve been avoiding or ignoring?
And while this isn’t a bad thing, I’d be doing a disservice to you if I just jumped right into that to start. Because the truth is- the majority of the change in my life didn’t come from what I added in. It came from what I let go.
Surrendering? This was the by far the hardest, biggest, and most impactful step I took towards changing my life. When I looked around and saw all the things that I was unhappy with- I realized that it all had to go.
Now it’s important to note here that we are not just talking about ‘things’, but we are also talking about ways of being. Because as my definitions of success and freedom shifted and I realized that everything that I was going after I didn’t actually want- I had to change BOTH what I was choosing and who I was being.
I had realized that I didn’t want the big fancy company, the clients, the schedule or the hours spent on calls. I didn’t want to manage other people or be responsible for their health or healing. I didn’t want to be tied to a computer screen or my phone 24/7. And I certainly didn’t want to be the person who was so ‘busy’ they didn’t have time to even enjoy their life.
The realization of everything that I ‘didn’t’ want, was the catalyst towards helping me understand and accept what it was that I actually DID want- things like being in charge of my time, the flexibility to work on what was lighting me up, and being able to close my computer at 1 pm on a Wednesday to go play in the water.
What I deemed as being important, shifted.
What I considered a priority, changed.
And suddenly, what I actually wanted became something different entirely.
This understanding and realization came slowly over time, as I put all of the pieces together. But what is most important to realize here is that this began to lay the foundation for the things I eventually surrendered and let go of.
I started with the company, allowing it to crumble.
I moved onto the people, allowing myself to walk away, ignore, block and delete.
I let go of my nursing license, recognizing it was never ‘for me’.
I stopped coaching and moved into writing and podcasting full time.
But most importantly? I let go of the ways that I was operating, showing up, taking care of and treating myself. I decided I didn’t want to be the woman who lived her life rushing, missing important moments, or feeling so rattled and overstimulated that she snaps on the people she loves most.
I decided I didn’t want to be the woman who was glued to her phone, couldn’t make plans because of ‘work’, or was completely checked out in the evenings with her husband because she was so exhausted.
I decided that I didn’t want to be the woman who skipped meals and breaks, who was chronically stressed and overweight, who didn’t move her body or get enough sleep.
I decided that I was done living the way that I was living- and I let go of it all.
In order to have a life of your dreams, you have to take actually action and build it.
Once the self-imposed crumble of my life began, I knew that I had to start with a brand new foundation for the life that I was calling in. Everything had to go- and once it did, then I could begin to rebuild with things, ways of being and actions that I chose.
Moving from RN/coach to writer/podcaster was a big step, but it wasn’t the only action for building my new life. I had to look at all the small pieces of how I was showing up, and make radical, consistent changes every single day.
Simple things like clearing calendars and organizing workspaces seemed minimal, but they gave me time back and permission to create a work ‘schedule’ that was flexible and felt good to me.
I worked on things like saying no- to people, projects, collaborations, favours- anything that I didn’t feel like doing. I learned how to listen to my body and my unique sacral response, so that I could understand what was intuitively a ‘yes’ and what was a ‘no’.
I began to put in boundaries, distance myself from things that drained my battery, and I started to slow down with every single task that I was doing.
No more multitasking- single task focus. Romanticize everything.
I set aside space for creative work, and I learned how to take breaks. I even wish I was kidding when I say that in the beginning, I literally had to start with one minute lunch breaks where I would sit outside in the sun for a few deep breaths before returning to work.
No, I am not joking- I literally had to teach myself to take breaks and take care of myself because for years I didn’t. And while it started with these breaks, it actually grew into proper sleeping patterns, eating regularly, drinking enough water, moving my body, and even prioritizing my mental health so I could finally heal.
I had to learn to accept myself. To be authentically and unapologetically me. To recognize and decide what I truly wanted, and to learn to listen to my body’s intuitive wisdom so that it could guide me in every single step that I took.
The truth is that I learned how to put myself at the center of my life and create a life that was actually worth living- and it all started with extremely small, daily changes to align myself with who I actually wanted to be.
And now here I am- instead of spending 12+ hours per day on calls, I’m sipping cacao in a bubble bath or splashing around in a pool in a private villa in Bali.
Just two years, and my life looks WILDLY different than it did (for which I am so grateful).
The Secret
So now that you’re reaching the end of this article, you’re probably wondering what the magic suggestion, key to success, or never-before-seen tip on how to manifest your desires, actually is.
And I can’t blame you for that, because I searched for 10 years for the same thing.
But the truth is, I’ve already told it to you.
The results that I’ve gotten in my life and where I am at now are not a result of any magic tip or secret I found that you’ve been left out on.
I didn’t achieve the things I achieved because I ‘visualized’ my outcome every day, or said a spell, or followed some kind of ritual for manifestation.
I tried these things, believe me. For years. And every single time I was left more disappointed and frustrated than when I had began. I used to believe that I had to mindset my way to the finish line- and that single belief is what kept me stuck where I was for a really long time.
So the truth? The honest-to-god truth of it all?
You will never be able to go around, over, or under the ‘work’ that is in front of you. There is no quick fix. There is no magic spell. There is no fast track. The only way that you get to the life you desire is by doing the work now.
Heal. Let go. Shift. Change. Pivot. Say no. Release your grip. Say goodbye. Choose something new, something different, something better. Decide who you want to be and what you want your life to look like- and stop at nothing to get it.
Because then, and only then, when you have shifted your energy, when you have aligned with your desires, and when you have embodied the version of you that you most want to become through the actions that you are taking NOW… will you change your life.
If you want to live a life filled with love, then you have to build a life based on love.
If you want to live a life of happiness, then you have to build a life of happiness.
If you want to live a life of your dreams, then you have to build a life of your dreams.
The steps you take and how you are living right now is what truly matters, because the energy you hold today is what decides tomorrow.
So I guess if you were to ask me now, the simplest answer would be:
Yes. Manifestation is in fact, real.
To manifesting a life of your dreams,
Brianne xx
Ps. If you’re looking for another way to unpack what manifestation truly means and understand how to make it work for your life, then you’ll want to check out this podcast episode here: Manifestation 101: The Secret You’ve Never Been Told