Brianne, I’m so happy our conversation sparked this essay! I’ve finished it, and I’d love to send it to you. Since you’re a subscriber to my Substack, I have your email address—but I wanted to ask first if you’d be comfortable with me sending it to you there?
What an absolute beautiful, bold, and inspiring piece of work you just put out. I know we don’t know each other but I am beyond proud of you for putting yourself first! ❤️
I’m sitting here with a fresh cup of tea, having just read your latest piece, and I felt compelled to reach out. It gave me absolute goosebumps.
There is a specific kind of grief that comes with navigating maternal relationships, and the clarity with which you wrote about choosing yourself over the cycle of hurt is so incredibly powerful. When you wrote, "I'm not a bad person for believing I deserve more," I wanted to cheer. It takes so much quiet work to undo the programming of being the people-pleaser, especially when it comes to family.
I lost my own mother when I was twenty-two, and much of my own writing explores the legacy of what we carry forward and what we choose to leave behind for our children. Though our stories are different, the heart of what you wrote—the boundary, the choosing of peace, the maternal thread—resonated with me on a cellular level.
Thank you for writing so openly and with such stunning clarity. You are a gift to your readers, and I am so glad I found your corner of the internet.
Oh my gosh Cidalisa- what an incredible comment to open up my post to. Thank you so much for this. Navigating the conscious distancing or dismantling of relationships is not easy, no matter who we are talking about- and I'm grateful that my words resonated.
It really does take a lot of work to rewrite and unravel the things that we were taught in childhood and beyond, and anyone who is doing that work deserves the biggest pat on the back. I see you, and I appreciate you deeply- and btw, what a unique and gorgeous name you have! 🫂
Brianne, thank you for such a generous reply — it truly made my day.
Funny you mentioned my name, because it's actually tied up in exactly what you wrote about. Cidalisa wasn't always a name I loved. It was a lot for classmates growing up, and by high school I'd shortened it to Lisa just to fit in more easily. It took decades before I came back to it.
When my memoir was ready to publish, I put "Cidalisa De Braga" on the cover instead of Lisa, and it was the first time the name felt like me again — not something to shrink, but something to stand inside of fully. I'm still happy for people to call me Lisa if that's what they're used to, but Cidalisa is who I am now.
Reading your piece, and then writing to you, has actually planted the seed for an essay of my own about that whole journey. It'll be in my next book. So thank you — this exchange gave me more than I expected.
Oh my gosh, I love this so much. While not exactly the same, my name is pronounced "BRY-ANNE" but many people mistake it for "BRE-ANNE". It was always a challenge, especially in high-school and university, so for a while I just went by 'Bre-anne' instead.
It also took me a while to confidently step back into the correct pronunciation of my name and actually correct people when they say it wrong lol. I'm excited to hear more about this essay and your new book! Do share anything you'd like me to read and I'll happily take a look for you :)
Thank you! Just sent it
Brianne, I’m so happy our conversation sparked this essay! I’ve finished it, and I’d love to send it to you. Since you’re a subscriber to my Substack, I have your email address—but I wanted to ask first if you’d be comfortable with me sending it to you there?
Absolutely :) Thank you so much- can't wait to read!
It’s a privilege to be a part of my life! This is the line that resonated with me and this will be the line I'll keep in the forefront on my mind.
I'm glad you're at a good space to share this, and yes - this read really has me in my feelings right now!
Thank you for the kind words Abigail- I'm glad it resonated and I definitely encourage you to use that line for everyone who is a part of your life! 🖤
What an absolute beautiful, bold, and inspiring piece of work you just put out. I know we don’t know each other but I am beyond proud of you for putting yourself first! ❤️
Thank you for taking the time to read my post, and to leave this comment. I appreciate you and this more than you know 🖤
Hi Brianne,
I’m sitting here with a fresh cup of tea, having just read your latest piece, and I felt compelled to reach out. It gave me absolute goosebumps.
There is a specific kind of grief that comes with navigating maternal relationships, and the clarity with which you wrote about choosing yourself over the cycle of hurt is so incredibly powerful. When you wrote, "I'm not a bad person for believing I deserve more," I wanted to cheer. It takes so much quiet work to undo the programming of being the people-pleaser, especially when it comes to family.
I lost my own mother when I was twenty-two, and much of my own writing explores the legacy of what we carry forward and what we choose to leave behind for our children. Though our stories are different, the heart of what you wrote—the boundary, the choosing of peace, the maternal thread—resonated with me on a cellular level.
Thank you for writing so openly and with such stunning clarity. You are a gift to your readers, and I am so glad I found your corner of the internet.
Warmly,
Cidalisa
Oh my gosh Cidalisa- what an incredible comment to open up my post to. Thank you so much for this. Navigating the conscious distancing or dismantling of relationships is not easy, no matter who we are talking about- and I'm grateful that my words resonated.
It really does take a lot of work to rewrite and unravel the things that we were taught in childhood and beyond, and anyone who is doing that work deserves the biggest pat on the back. I see you, and I appreciate you deeply- and btw, what a unique and gorgeous name you have! 🫂
Brianne, thank you for such a generous reply — it truly made my day.
Funny you mentioned my name, because it's actually tied up in exactly what you wrote about. Cidalisa wasn't always a name I loved. It was a lot for classmates growing up, and by high school I'd shortened it to Lisa just to fit in more easily. It took decades before I came back to it.
When my memoir was ready to publish, I put "Cidalisa De Braga" on the cover instead of Lisa, and it was the first time the name felt like me again — not something to shrink, but something to stand inside of fully. I'm still happy for people to call me Lisa if that's what they're used to, but Cidalisa is who I am now.
Reading your piece, and then writing to you, has actually planted the seed for an essay of my own about that whole journey. It'll be in my next book. So thank you — this exchange gave me more than I expected.
Warmly,
Cidalisa
Oh my gosh, I love this so much. While not exactly the same, my name is pronounced "BRY-ANNE" but many people mistake it for "BRE-ANNE". It was always a challenge, especially in high-school and university, so for a while I just went by 'Bre-anne' instead.
It also took me a while to confidently step back into the correct pronunciation of my name and actually correct people when they say it wrong lol. I'm excited to hear more about this essay and your new book! Do share anything you'd like me to read and I'll happily take a look for you :)