You don't realize how far you've come, how much you've healed, or how much you've rewritten old beliefs... until you find yourself immersed in an environment that holds all of that again.
Despite their best intentions, they passed down a lot of limiting, sheltered, and even toxic beliefs—most of which I am sure they are not even aware of"
This is lovely; you show grace and compassion, given the healing journey you have been through.
"The biggest thing that I’ve been unpacking for years in therapy is this—our family? It’s actually quite toxic.*
You have the fortitude and awareness to recognise some facets of your family and the willingness to change! This is the manifestation of your free will. Free will gives you the opportunity of freedom and creation!
When you realise the inner change has completed, when you reenter that environment, you might feel understanding and sensitivity, but pride in who you have become.
And here you go *I also felt immense gratitude for my life."
It is a beautiful realisation, and I look forward to your continuous transformative journey. :)
Great article, Brianne. What a gift to be able to spend time with your grandparents and now see them from a different perspective, a healed version of you. Thank you for sharing. 🙏
Being the black sheep, surviving a toxic family is in itself a big chore. This piece that you so gracefully penned down, somewhere, healed something in me. I get triggered a lot and I have tried to hold compassion in exchange for the repeated limiting beliefs thrown my way. Having said that, down these years, I have come to realise, making my family my enemy has never really helped me get "better" but more so, the angry daughter that never sees their perspective. This entire piece is a masterful attempt at capturing the best way to handle such situations at home. "Observe, not absorb" - this! This is the way. I love how you elaborated using compassion and empathy as tools to understand, observe and continue to decline toxic patterns without having to feel triggered or angry. Thank you for this <3
Oh my gosh, thank you so much for these words. I’m so glad that it struck such a cord within you and helped to heal something inside 🥹🖤 I’m also sorry that I missed this comment until now. I haven’t been getting notifications of everyone’s engagement and this was hidden. But I couldn’t agree more on making myself the enemy in situations- whether it’s being triggered, holding anger or resentment, or just being on edge- it’s never helped me, them or the situation. But being able to let go, hold my inner ground and still be present- that’s shifted everything. And you know what? I’ve actually seen more change or willingness to grow/heal from my family when I am confident in my own beliefs without needing to change theirs. It’s a really cool place to be at.
Despite their best intentions, they passed down a lot of limiting, sheltered, and even toxic beliefs—most of which I am sure they are not even aware of"
This is lovely; you show grace and compassion, given the healing journey you have been through.
"The biggest thing that I’ve been unpacking for years in therapy is this—our family? It’s actually quite toxic.*
You have the fortitude and awareness to recognise some facets of your family and the willingness to change! This is the manifestation of your free will. Free will gives you the opportunity of freedom and creation!
When you realise the inner change has completed, when you reenter that environment, you might feel understanding and sensitivity, but pride in who you have become.
And here you go *I also felt immense gratitude for my life."
It is a beautiful realisation, and I look forward to your continuous transformative journey. :)
the triggers are real, but you are so strong!
Great article, Brianne. What a gift to be able to spend time with your grandparents and now see them from a different perspective, a healed version of you. Thank you for sharing. 🙏
Being the black sheep, surviving a toxic family is in itself a big chore. This piece that you so gracefully penned down, somewhere, healed something in me. I get triggered a lot and I have tried to hold compassion in exchange for the repeated limiting beliefs thrown my way. Having said that, down these years, I have come to realise, making my family my enemy has never really helped me get "better" but more so, the angry daughter that never sees their perspective. This entire piece is a masterful attempt at capturing the best way to handle such situations at home. "Observe, not absorb" - this! This is the way. I love how you elaborated using compassion and empathy as tools to understand, observe and continue to decline toxic patterns without having to feel triggered or angry. Thank you for this <3
Oh my gosh, thank you so much for these words. I’m so glad that it struck such a cord within you and helped to heal something inside 🥹🖤 I’m also sorry that I missed this comment until now. I haven’t been getting notifications of everyone’s engagement and this was hidden. But I couldn’t agree more on making myself the enemy in situations- whether it’s being triggered, holding anger or resentment, or just being on edge- it’s never helped me, them or the situation. But being able to let go, hold my inner ground and still be present- that’s shifted everything. And you know what? I’ve actually seen more change or willingness to grow/heal from my family when I am confident in my own beliefs without needing to change theirs. It’s a really cool place to be at.
This is such a truth!
Thank you Abigail! I feel that we are all going through these experiences as we grow and heal 🖤