Escaping The Shackles Of Societal Expectations

My recent reflections as I continue to fight my way out of the shackles and chains of the societal expectations that come with this thing called life.

It’s been two months since I started this Substack publication.

When I created it and began posting, it was fully my intention to publish musings weekly. I hit the ground running, excited and ready- or at least, so I thought.

My heart was fully invested. But as it turns out, my head… not so much.

The truth is that I’ve had so much to say. I’ve been bursting at the seams with words ready to be typed out- and yet, I’ve felt frozen.

I’ve spent much of the last month staring at a blank page here wondering where to begin, what to say, how to share the true weight of what hangs on my heart and my mind.

Have you ever been here? That sticky in-between place where something feels so right (like you’ve finally found ‘it’) and yet, you’re also paralyzed with fear, unable to move?

That’s where I am right now. The goo. The caterpillar that built the chrysalis and surrendered to the darkness- with no idea what is coming next.

From the moment that I started this Substack publication, I could feel my ego start to get anxious. The imposter syndrome began to creep in and I found myself thinking every single day… what could I possibly have to share that anyone would want to read?

I’ve felt like a fraud without writing a single word down- and hilariously (or ironically) enough… my publication has been growing massively despite all of this (which ultimately has only continued to contribute to my fear of showing up).

I was sure that I’d stay paralyzed here, trapped within the invisible walls of my own comfort zone forever- until today when it finally clicked.

For the past six years I’ve been actively working on rewriting the rules of life and dismantling the boxes that society demands we check.

It’s been scary, and in a lot of ways, destabilizing. I’ve disrupted the very systems that were built to keep us stuck. I’ve coloured outside the lines of where we’re meant to stay. I’ve questioned and stepped back when we’re expected to go all in.

And the truth is that in doing so, the ground I stand on has gotten shaky time and time again. Whenever I took a step outside my comfort zone, there was a paralyzation that also occurred shortly afterwards.

A questioning of ‘what have I done?’.

A fear of what people might think.

A pause where my ego screamed ‘who the fuck do you think you are?’.

Each time it was dark and uncomfortable, and at its worst… it even felt like death (because duh, a part of my belief system was actually dying).

But eventually? I did make it through.

I did reach the point where things got easier, I emerged from the goo, and something really beautiful happened. The darkness didn’t last forever- and in a lot of ways, I can see how it was actually necessary in getting to where I wanted to be.

So today, when I finally stopped and looked back on all of that… I realized that what I’m going through right now is no different than what has consistently occurred throughout the last six years.

I’m in the continued process of escaping the shackles of societal expectations- just in a slightly different way (and I guess I’m okay with that).

---

Right now I’m actively building a life that is based on freedom, joy, peace and purpose. I’m choosing to ignore the ‘strategy’ or the ‘rules’ that tend to come with ‘business’, and I’m doing all of this on my own terms, unapologetically.

For the first time in my life I am doing something for ‘me’- and I’d be lying if I said that this isn’t a huge step outside of my comfort zone (because it is). So of course it requires dismantling of more systems and a leap into uncertainty.

I have to be okay with the ground being shaky and the darkness being present… because I’m in the goo and I’m still figuring all of this out.

I don’t know what to expect, but what I do know is that I can decide which rules I follow moving forward. And what I’ve decided for myself today is this:

• My writing doesn’t have to be curated or fit into a box.

• I don’t have to follow an imaginary schedule or timeline.

• AND it can come from what I truly want to write about.

Because the honest-to-god truth of it all is that the shackles of societal expectations run much deeper than we could ever imagine them to-

and if we’re not careful, we might just find ourselves stuck in a different way, believing that we are free.

Here’s to facing the fear and choosing more,

Brianne xx